I wanna be a ROCKSTAR

i am sitting in my room alone. i am trying to collate a set of pictures for............................. I am editing a soccer movie. i love soccer. i live soccer. i am doing my MBA.
It does not make sense to you? it doesn't to me either. i don't know why i am sitting at 12:00 in the night with my stomach growling to eat something and my head telling me do the assignments that is lying beside me, and yet i am preparing videos for soccer. Is it because preparing videos will help me convey the message to others better? or is it because i get gratification by looking for and collecting videos. or it maybe because i get to curse the IT here, who doesn't let me download the videos i want.

Right now i am listening to

"I'm through with standing in line
to clubs we'll never get in
It's like the bottom of the ninth
and I'm never gonna win
This life hasn't turned out
quite the way I want it to be"

right now i am feeling

"I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair and change my name
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar"

why is it that when u r doing the thing that u enjoy u find urself wishing u were doing something else. why is it that what you are trying to achieve in life always looks different from what you want to be in life. Is it because i really want to be a rockstar.
I'll just go back to playing FIFA and then my head will be clear enough to start doing pre reads and assignments. Well then i wouldn't be blogging if it was clear now would i.

"joie de vivre" is written in my ip settings. am i or do i want to be.